Humanist and celebrant-led ceremonies have been growing in popularity for years. Couples love the sense of freedom that comes with a symbolic celebration. And freedom means personalisation!
Wedding ceremony rituals are moments when the couple open up and bind themselves to each other in front of their guests. They are moments when time stands still, and they reflect what you believe in as a couple.
There are almost as many rituals as there are couples, because the only rule is that it has to suit you and your story!
To help you find THE ritual for you, here is our list of the best wedding ceremony rituals:
Rituals for the two of you
For the forward thinkers
The wine box ceremony (or time capsule)
No, it has nothing to do with space travel! A wine box ceremony simply means sealing a good bottle of wine and a love letter to each other in a wooden box on your wedding day.
The idea? On a special occasion, such as a wedding anniversary, you open the box, share the bottle and read the letter your other half wrote. A perfect excuse to reconnect and remember why you fell in love. Because love, like a good wine, gets better with age!
How does it work? Your celebrant explains the ritual to your guests and the occasion you have picked to open the box (your cotton anniversary, your tenth anniversary…). Then the box is sealed with a hammer and nails.
Variations: not a wine lover? Choose another favourite, such as a good whisky or gin.
This ritual is for the two of you, but you can involve your guests too: hand out slips of paper at the start, ask them to write a few words and add them to the box before it is sealed.
For the romantics
Tree planting ceremony
The tree planting ritual is one of the most popular because it is so symbolic: the roots stand for the strong foundations of your relationship, and the branches still to grow for your future together.
To grow, your tree will need water and care, just like your love. Over time, your roots grow stronger, and your love grows and strengthens just like the tree.
How does it work? Your celebrant brings the tree you have chosen and explains its meaning to your guests. Then the two of you pot the tree, add soil and water it.
Variations: if the ceremony takes place on your own land, plant the tree straight into the ground!
This ritual also pairs beautifully with a wishing tree for your guests (see below).
For the globetrotters
The sand ceremony
Originally from Oceania, the sand ceremony involved collecting sand from the wedding location, or from a place that meant something to the couple, and pouring it together into a beautiful vase to represent their union. Perfect for a beach wedding, or for keen travellers who want to show where in the world their love began.
Many couples love the symbolism even if they are not marrying by the sea. Coloured craft sand is easy to find in craft shops or online.
Try mixing two different colours to show two personalities coming together, it makes the ritual even more striking for your guests!
How does it work? Your celebrant sets out the vase and explains the symbolism. Then you pour your sand at the same time so the grains mix together. A short speech or a favourite song makes the moment even more moving.
Variations: not keen on sand? Use wine (one white, one red) or spices if cooking is your shared passion. Anything goes, so add your own touch 😉.
For the party lovers
The cocktail ritual
Festive, often funny and sociable, this ritual celebrates the chemistry between two people. You mix several ingredients into a cocktail that sums up your relationship, each one standing for a trait of one of you or the secret of a lasting love. The result is a love potion you taste during the ceremony.
How does it work? Your celebrant invites you to add each ingredient to the shaker and explains what it stands for: cane sugar for sweetness, Champagne for your sparkle… After a good shake, you each drink a glass (not the whole shaker, you still have a party to get going!).
Variations: for even more fun, make a big batch and serve it at the drinks reception!
For the traditionalists
Exchanging rings
The ring exchange is THE ritual above all others! Part of almost every ceremony, religious or not, the ring you place on your partner's finger stands for a never-ending bond. Usually accompanied by a few words, it is a highly emotional moment.
It is often paired with another ritual, such as a ring warming: the rings are passed around your guests before the ceremony so everyone can add their good wishes.
How does it work? Your celebrant invites you to stand. The people you have chosen (children, best man, maid of honour…) bring the rings forward. Music adds to the intensity. Your vows usually come next, before you place the rings on each other's fingers.
Variations: handfasting is a lovely alternative, with deep roots in Celtic tradition and the origin of the phrase “tying the knot”! Facing each other, you join hands while your celebrant or witnesses tie your hands and wrists together with ribbons or cords. Each colour can stand for a pillar of your relationship, such as listening, care or trust.
Rituals with your guests
For the creatives
The fingerprint tree
As with tree planting, the tree represents the two of you. This time it is drawn on a large sheet of paper and becomes a keepsake of everyone who shared your day.
The symbolism is powerful: by adding their fingerprint, your loved ones say yes to your union.
How does it work? Your celebrant sets out the tree print (size it to your guest list). You each dip a finger in an ink pad and add your print to the tree. After the ceremony your guests do the same (display it on an easel, for example).
Variations: if painting means something to you, go for a collaborative painting: each guest adds a brushstroke to a canvas, creating a unique work of art and a wonderful memory!
For the dreamers
The wishing tree
Trees appear in lots of rituals, proof that the possibilities are endless! The wishing tree often follows a tree planting, as it happens at the end of the ceremony.
How does it work? Each guest receives a ribbon, or a pretty tag with string, at the start. Once the ceremony is over, they make a wish for your happiness and tie the ribbon to the tree. With tags, they write their wish first and then hang it from a branch.
Variations: wishing stones!
Each guest gets a pebble to write a kind message or a wish for you. At the end of the ceremony, all the stones go into a large glass vase.
For the book lovers
The wedding library
One of our favourites, though it takes a little planning. It is 100% participative, so make sure all your guests will play along! Perfect for bookworms and true romantics, the wedding library is all about passing things on and sharing.
“Spoken words fly away, written words remain.” A little of your loved ones will stay with you forever in these books.
How does it work? Announce the idea with your invitations and ask guests to bring a book that means something to them about your story or your relationship.
Then buy or build a bookcase to display on the day. Your guests add their book, ideally with a dedication inside!
For the night owls
The candle and sparkler ritual
Make the most of dusk with this magical ritual: dozens of little lights carrying your loved ones' wishes.
Good to know: sky lanterns are banned on many council-owned sites and by a lot of venues because of the fire risk to buildings, crops and animals, and balloon releases harm wildlife. Candles, sparklers or floating lights on a pond are much safer.
How does it work? At the start, your celebrant hands each guest a slip of paper and a candle or sparkler. Everyone writes a wish for you. As night falls, all the lights are lit together and the wishes go into a box for you to read later. Then just sit back and enjoy the view!
Variations: in daylight, or under trees, a bubble send-off works beautifully and leaves no litter.
For the generous
The ball of wool ritual
Best for smaller weddings (a bit tricky with 200 guests!). It is a moment full of laughter and togetherness. The strands of wool stand for the bonds between your loved ones and your two families, a lovely way to break the ice and get the celebrations started!
How does it work? Before guests arrive, leave balls of wool on some of the chairs. At the end of the ceremony, your celebrant asks those guests to throw their ball across the aisle to someone on the other side. Repeat until a web forms over the aisle, then duck underneath it together to cheers from your guests!
In short, there is no shortage of rituals, you just need to pick the one that suits you best! A humanist or celebrant-led ceremony is a blank canvas for creating YOUR unforgettable moment. So have fun and make it completely unique!
Need help bringing your ideas to life or coordinating the ceremony? Call on a wedding planner or an experienced celebrant near you: our directory will help you find the gem who can create a ceremony that feels like you.
On the day, all that is left is to enjoy this magical moment 🥂
