2027 marks the end of terracotta and the return of white. After five years of warm palettes and saturated boho, the direction the industry’s tastemakers are pointing to lies elsewhere: whites and ecrus, silver, powdery pastels, Mediterranean. But there is a gap between what the press announces and what couples actually book — on Planners, the themes most often stated for 2026-2027 are still rustic and boho. The deep trends, the ones that are genuinely moving, are not colours: they are reception formats that are smaller, shorter and better spent.
Colours: Cloud Dancer, the milky white named Pantone’s colour of 2026, runs through the whole season; silver replaces gold; powdery pastels and Mediterranean blues are settling in.
Themes: Mediterranean, Regency/Bridgerton, natural minimalism — but rustic and boho still dominate actual enquiries.
Styling: serpentine tables, ceremonies in the round, colour drenching.
The deep trend: half of couples (51%, n = 743) expect 50 to 100 guests and only 3% go beyond 200 people.
Styling budget: €1,650 to €4,650, average €2,500 (Planners.fr study 2024, n = 25 — indicative).
737 active wedding planners are listed on Planners to translate a trend without ending up with an off-the-peg wedding.
Every autumn, the same articles announce the same trends: a Pantone palette, three themes borrowed from a television series, and a great many moodboard photographs that correspond to no real wedding. The problem is not that these articles are wrong — the colours they announce often do arrive in the end. It is that they describe what the tastemakers are offering, never what couples are asking for.
So we cross-referenced the two: what the specialist press and designers are announcing for 2027, and what couples actually say they want when they post their project on Planners. The gap is instructive.
In brief: how much does it cost to hire a wedding venue?
From €100 for a municipal village hall to €15,000 for a château near Paris: no “national range” makes any sense on this line item. What does make sense is the share of the budget the venue should take up — we work on 15 to 20% of the total for the hire alone — and the list of what the advertised price does not include. Because that is where it is really decided: extras can add another 15 to 20% to the bill.
The word “estate” has no pricing definition at all: it covers a €3,000 manor house just as happily as a €15,000 château.
Two identical prices can describe opposite realities: bare walls on one side; furniture, crockery, staff and accommodation on the other.
The real price levers, in order: the season and the day, distance from a major city, and only then negotiation.
Corkage, energy surcharge, cleaning, overtime, security deposit, insurance: six lines that almost never appear on the brochure.
One in two couples posting a project on Planners is aiming at a total budget of €3,000 to €10,000 (45.1%, n = 617), which means a venue allowance of €450 to €2,000: the château is not the default scenario.
To explore real venues rather than ranges, our wedding venue directory lets you filter by region and capacity.
In brief: how much does a wedding planner cost in 2027?
Allow €1,750 on average for day-of coordination, €2,500 for partial planning and €4,250 for full planning. These figures come from the Planners.fr study carried out among 125 working wedding planners in France: they are aggregated rates, not one professional’s price list. In the Paris region, add roughly 35%. A winter wedding, by contrast, is negotiated 15% cheaper on average.
Day-of coordination: €1,300 to €3,050, average €1,750 (n=77)
Partial planning (around 6 months): €1,500 to €4,700, average €2,500 (n=45)
Full planning (12 to 18 months): €3,050 to €6,050, average €4,250 (n=88)
Paris region: +35%, i.e. €5,000 to €7,000 for full planning
Season: −15% in winter, the only genuine discount in the calendar
737 active wedding planners are listed on Planners
Searching Google for a wedding planner’s rates means landing on a run of pages that each display their own price list. A good share of the top results are wedding planners publishing their own prices: honest figures, but a sample of one. Add a château, an equipment hire firm and a handful of portals all repeating the same “8 to 15% of your budget” rule without ever saying where it came from — when they are not simply copying our own figures — and you end up with anything and everything. In other words: nothing you can use.
This article approaches the problem from the other end. The ranges below come from a survey of 125 French wedding planners, cross-referenced with what couples posting a project on Planners tell us: prices per package, the real scope of each service, the effect of region and season, how fees are charged, and the five lines to check on a quote.
In brief: how long does it take to plan a wedding?
French couples genuinely start planning their wedding 13 months before the big day. That is the median observed across 1,408 wedding projects posted on Planners (Planners data, August 2026), not the “18 months” that most online timelines repeat. That gap changes everything: if you are 10 or 11 months out, you are not behind, you are normal. Three decisions, on the other hand, cannot be recovered — the venue, the caterer and the date — and those are the ones that have to be settled first.
Lead time actually observed: median 13.1 months before the wedding (n = 1,408 projects).
58% of couples start 12 months out or more; 16% start with under 6 months to go — a wedding can be pulled together in 4 months.
The 3 structural bookings: venue, caterer, photographer. Everything else can be adjusted.
The only genuinely fixed delay is a legal one: in France, the banns are published for 10 days (service-public.gouv.fr).
737 active wedding planners are listed on Planners if you would rather delegate this timeline.
The full month-by-month timeline is summarised in a table at the end of the article.
A wedding planning timeline is a calendar read backwards: you start from the wedding date and work back in time to place each decision at the moment it needs to be taken. The exercise looks like homework, but it solves the one real problem in organising a wedding: some decisions block others. You cannot choose your caterer before your venue, or your table plan before the replies to your invitations.
The trouble with the timelines you find online is that they are all identical, all generic, and not one of them is based on what couples actually do. So we started by looking at our own data before writing a single line of this calendar.
In brief: what budget should you set for a wedding in 2027?
There is no reliable “average budget” for a wedding in France: the four main sources in the market quote anywhere between €13,500 and €19,293, a 43% spread, because they are not measuring the same thing. The only calculation that holds up separates what does not depend on the number of guests (outfits, photography, music: €4,000 to €11,000) from what depends on it directly (€80 to €150 per head). On that method, a wedding for 100 guests lands somewhere between €12,000 and €26,000 depending on the trade-offs you make — and that range faithfully reproduces the published averages.
Your budget depends first and foremost on the number of guests: it is the only lever that moves almost every line item at once.
The reception (venue plus catering) accounts for half to 60% of the total. Everything else is negotiated at the margins.
Six regularly forgotten line items add 15 to 20% to the final bill: overtime, making good, accommodation, tips, accessories, the morning-after brunch.
Among couples who post a project on Planners, 45.1% state a total budget of €3,000 to €10,000 and 21.6% under €3,000 (n = 617): the small-budget wedding is the norm, not the exception.
A wedding planner costs from €1,750 on average for day-of coordination to €4,250 for full planning (Planners.fr study 2024, n = 125). Planners lists 737 active wedding planners.
Want the figure for your set-up rather than a national average? Our wedding budget calculator gives you a range in two minutes, based on your region, your guest count and your priorities.
There is no age at which it’s too late to marry: at 60, 70 or 80, the formalities are the same as they are for a couple of 30. Three subjects do deserve proper attention before the day, though: how marriage affects your estate and your existing will (particularly where there are children from an earlier relationship), the possible impact of remarrying on a survivor’s pension or certain benefits, and the shape of the celebration itself, which is often more intimate.
Age: no upper limit, and the same conditions and paperwork as at any age — your local register office will confirm the details.
Money and property: a conversation with a solicitor is strongly advised (wills, estate planning, children from a first marriage).
Pensions: remarrying can affect rights inherited from a late spouse, including a survivor’s pension — check with your pension provider and, where relevant, the benefits office before you commit.
The celebration: later-life weddings often favour an intimate format centred on the people closest to you. A wedding planner can handle the lot (737 working professionals are listed on Planners, August 2026).
The later-life wedding is a stage of life that captures something true: love has no age limit.
Unlike the weddings of younger couples, these marriages bring a depth and a richness of experience that is entirely their own. They celebrate not just love, but resilience, reinvention and the possibility of a fresh start, even after many decades of life.
In this article, Planners looks at the later-life wedding and shares our best advice for getting it right.
Why say yes after 60?
Wondering about that? The answer seems obvious enough.
For love, of course.
Marriage is generally taken to be the symbol of unconditional love between two people. But when we’re talking about marriage later in life, it takes on a different meaning.
By this stage, a great many goals and milestones have already been reached. Children have been raised (for those who had them), homes established, big decisions taken, successes enjoyed and disappointments survived. Most of the boxes have been ticked, at home and at work.
Past 60, there’s no longer any need to promise to start a family or to guarantee financial stability, because all of that is already written into the story. The pressures and the challenges become less urgent, and less oppressive.
Which makes everything a good deal lighter. What’s left is chiefly a promise of love and happiness, without agonising over the future.
That love can take you by surprise: it’s often deeper and more intense than expected, and the happiness that comes with it is all the more precious for it.
It seems that people over 60 use marriage as an occasion to celebrate their love and share it with the people they care about — whether that means renewing their vows or marrying for a second time.
At this age, marriage becomes the step that makes a happy relationship official. After all, there aren’t usually other major events left — the birth of a child, buying a first home — to formalise a union. So marriage becomes the way to show how serious and how deep the relationship is, and to share that with everyone around you.
It’s a beautiful promise, and proof of love.
What kind of invitations should you choose?
Part of the older and wiser generation, about to get married, and not entirely sure what invitations to choose?
Planners has a few pointers to help you send out those cards inviting people to one of the most important days of your life.
The style of your invitation
The best style is the one that reflects who you really are, as individuals and as a couple.
If you’ve settled on a particular theme for the day, your invitations should follow the same thread.
These days the possibilities are endless, whether you want something classic, vintage, retro, contemporary or funny, or you’d rather draw on your interests, your heritage, or colours that tie in with the day itself.
There are more unusual options too, such as plantable seed-paper invitations.
Give the invitations a touch of your own personality.
The wording of your invitation
The wording should represent you too. Your guests ought to recognise you as they read it.
As a general rule, keep it simple. There’s no point cramming in information: better to get to the point and not go off on tangents.
As for the layout, give it plenty of breathing room so that whoever opens it isn’t left scratching their head. Everything should be clear.
The same goes for the typeface. Choose one everybody can read rather than reaching for something wildly original. And do think about the size. You don’t want guests hunting for a magnifying glass, do you?
Here’s the essential information your invitations need to carry:
The couple’s first names (there’s no obligation to include surnames)
The date and place of the wedding
The time of the ceremony (civil, humanist or religious)
The venue for the reception (with as much detail as possible)
Your address, on the back of the envelope or on the invitation itself
The date by which you’d like replies
If you aren’t inviting everyone to the meal, remember to produce two separate invitations.
Why a later-life wedding can be pure happiness
Married life after 60 might well be the envy of anyone under 35. These couples live with far more calm, they have more experience in every sense, and certain big life stages are already behind them.
Much freer to live as they please, they can flourish away from the churn of daily obligations and enjoy things day by day. Isn’t that every couple’s dream?
Rather like carefree young lovers, they don’t have to worry about the future. Which leaves them freer to make plans that bring them still closer together.
Put like that, you quickly see that a later-life wedding really can mean happiness. Everything can work in its favour: work, family, finances.
What’s more, at this age these couples have decades of relationship experience behind them. In other words, they have a deep understanding of what they want and what they no longer want. They’re also better equipped to handle disagreements, and sometimes to head them off. Patience, wisdom, understanding, communication: those tools are usually already in the box.
It’s worth saying, though, that a later-life marriage isn’t always welcomed by everyone. We’re thinking in particular of certain family members — children above all — who can be reluctant to see a parent commit to a new relationship. And it’s true that behind the symbolism of marriage there also sits a contract with consequences for property and inheritance.
Even where a couple chooses to keep their finances entirely separate, that arrangement can occasionally cause friction within the family, especially where there’s a wide gap between the two partners’ means. Children tend to think not only of a parent’s wellbeing but also (let’s be honest) of their inheritance.
The answer is to talk, and to put everything on the table. Do that and it will be fine.
Planners’ advice for a happy later-life wedding
Here are a few pieces of advice from Planners for getting your wedding right.
1. Live your love on your own terms
Attitudes are shifting, but it’s true that marriage later in life is sometimes frowned upon — by society, by acquaintances, by family.
The best advice we can give you is to live your love exactly as you see fit.
Enjoy your life and your happiness.
Don’t worry about other people, and throw yourself into this lovely chapter.
Follow your instincts, and marry in joy.
2. Plan the wedding to your own taste
When it comes to the planning, trust your gut.
And if you feel a little lost, you can always call on a wedding planner, who will manage everything to your brief and offer valuable advice along the way.
3. Put communication first
This one applies not only to later-life weddings but to every wedding there is.
In truth it’s advice worth following in daily life. Communicating means not staying locked inside your own head. Not brooding. Not making a mountain of something that started out perfectly manageable.
Talk to your partner about your worries, your feelings, your joys and your sorrows.
Communication within a couple, and within a family, is essential to a happy marriage.
4. Listen to your heart
Our final piece of advice is simply to listen to your heart.
You’ve already been through a great many stages in life.
You’ll certainly have made compromises so that everything ran as smoothly as possible.
And you’ll inevitably have set yourself aside from time to time, to put other people’s happiness first.
Think of yourself. Now is the moment to enjoy being happy.
Live your wedding to the full, without worrying what anyone else thinks.
Savour every moment of closeness and joy, without thinking about what comes next.
A video message is one of the most memorable surprises guests, bridesmaids and best men can give a couple. The six formats that work best, all covered in this article: the marryoke (a lip-synced music video starring the guests), the making-of film of the day, the video booth (a filmed guest book, recorded during the reception), the surprise dance routine, the documentary telling the couple’s story, and the paper ball — a relay of handwritten messages passed from guest to guest in the edit. A recent smartphone is enough for most of these; for a marryoke or a documentary, a professional videographer makes a real difference.
Best for getting everyone involved: the marryoke, which pulls in the whole room.
Easiest to organise: the video booth, left running through the evening.
Most moving: the documentary about the couple’s story.
Funniest: the paper ball, made up of messages from everyone closest to them.
Family of the couple, friend, best man or maid of honour?
Been asked to be a bridesmaid?
Then you’re not just any guest, and you have an important part to play on the day.
You’ve almost certainly been turning over ideas for the reception, and for how to surprise the couple on the day of their wedding.
A small surprise could move them deeply and mean a great deal.
Our wedding planners have put together a selection of the best wedding video ideas to make the reception unforgettable.
Why choose a wedding video?
Timeless, and hardly a new idea.
Weddings have always been an occasion couples want to preserve by every means available, from the most conventional to the distinctly unusual.
Video is an excellent way of capturing the voices, the emotions and the faces of the reception exactly as they were.
These days, the format has gone well beyond simply recording the atmosphere of the ceremony.
Very much of the moment, the wedding video message can announce the occasion, surprise the couple and create personalised memories: an atmosphere that’s genuinely yours.
You won’t be short of inspiration: here are plenty of original ideas for making the film or the edit of your dreams.
The marryoke: an original idea, and very funny
Hugely popular in English-speaking countries, this format takes its name from a blend of “marriage” and “karaoke”.
It started in Ireland and has since spread far beyond, winning over more and more couples who want to mark the big day properly.
The concept is simply a music video in which you lip-sync to your favourite track.
The whole thing pulls in friends and family alike.
Combined with a few silly, offbeat scenes, a video involving all your guests will leave you with something genuinely fun to watch again and again.
Bring in a wedding videographer to capture it properly.
That way you keep hold of the moment, and you can share the video with everyone you care about.
The making-of: an edit for the traditionalists
Prefer something more conventional, and less likely to misfire?
We’d strongly recommend the making-of film of the day.
It’s one of the most requested formats. Couples generally want the strongest moments of the day recorded.
The film runs through the different stages of the day.
Often the edit opens by cutting between the bride getting ready and the groom doing the same.
From there you can follow the register office or the church, right through to arriving at the reception venue.
Simple but moving, this kind of video captures the atmosphere of the dinner and the first steps onto the dance floor.
Our advisers recommend it for couples with an eye for detail, who want everything caught precisely: emotions, glances, expressions.
The video booth: a guest book on film
This is the video version of the guest book.
Traditionally, guests use a notebook and pen to leave the couple a message and thank them for the invitation.
Today, videographers offer a rather more original take on the idea.
Guests take it in turns to record a message for the couple in a booth set up for exactly that.
All those recordings are then edited together.
The result is a single film gathering all the words and feelings your guests wanted to express.
The dance routine: taking over the dance floor
A friend or family member wanting to knock the couple sideways at the reception?
We’d suggest a choreographed routine as a strong idea for the wedding video. The couple have already opened the festivities with their first dance?
Now it’s your turn, and everyone else’s, to surprise them with a real moment: the whole group dancing to the same song.
For inspiration, “Happy” tends to be among guests’ favourite tracks.
Alternatively, pick a song that carries memories of your time with the couple.
Feeling more ambitious? We’d recommend organising a flash mob.
That’s a routine started by three or four people, which gradually draws in the other guests.
Something like that will have the couple in tears of joy.
Guaranteed to land.
A documentary: a life story, and a love story
Want something longer?
Go for a documentary film telling the couple’s love story.
This kind of video can run anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes.
In it you can tell their story from childhood all the way to the day they met.
We’d suggest gathering photos and videos from their earliest years right up to the present day.
You can add personal messages in whatever tone you like.
Prefer humour?
Bring up the funny stories you’ve been keeping to yourself, or gently take the mickey out of the pair of them.
More of a softie?
Tell the moving stories that brought the couple together, and the best moments you’ve shared with them.
The paper ball: an original idea that stands out
Acting as a witness at the wedding?
You could take the initiative and give the couple a gift unlike anyone else’s.
They’ll only discover it on the evening of the wedding day itself.
The idea is simple.
Each guest films themselves receiving a ball of paper.
They unfold it to reveal a message for the couple.
Then they scrunch it back up and throw it towards the camera.
Edited together, all those clips create the impression that every guest is throwing the same piece of paper to the next one.
You now have a wide choice of games, message formats and clever ideas for surprising the newlyweds. Which means you can be confident of making two people very happy indeed.
Yes, you can marry again — including to the same person. If you’re divorced, remarrying your former spouse is a full legal marriage, with the same formalities as the first. If you’re still married to each other, what you’re planning is a vow renewal: a symbolic ceremony with no legal paperwork attached. After a divorce, each of you is also free to marry someone new once the divorce is final. Your local register office will confirm what’s needed in your case.
Marrying your ex-husband or ex-wife: perfectly possible, and it’s a full legal marriage.
Marrying the same person without having divorced: that’s a vow renewal — symbolic, and completely free in its format.
Marrying someone new after a divorce: possible once the divorce is final.
Getting help: 737 working wedding planners are listed on Planners (figures for August 2026).
Marriage is a journey, a wonderful adventure for two that begins with a “yes” full of love, promises and commitments.
Sometimes, when it doesn’t go to plan, life offers a second chance, an opportunity to begin that adventure again. This is where remarriage comes in, giving new meaning to a union shaped by experience and maturity.
So why say “yes” a second time?
Planners explores the reasons that make remarriage an act of love, renewal and confidence: a celebration of love that endures and reinvents itself.
Whether that’s with the same person, or with somebody else.
Remarriage: should you take the step?
There’s no hard and fast rule about remarrying. As with love in general, everyone is free to live their life as they see fit and as they feel it.
So we can’t answer that question for you in any meaningful, objective way.
Why not? Because in the end, the answer is inside you.
The advice we can offer is that you should ask yourself the right questions.
Do I actually want to get married again?
Is it simply to please the other person?
Will remarrying add something to my relationship as it stands?
Why did the idea of remarrying cross my mind in the first place?
What would the consequences of remarrying be?
It also depends rather a lot on who you’re planning to marry.
Because remarrying doesn’t necessarily mean marrying a second person.
It can equally mean marrying the same person for a second time.
That’s what we call renewing your vows.
Why remarriage has become more common: how society has changed
Compare today with the customs of the past and it’s clear that remarriage was far from ordinary a few decades ago.
Remarrying after a divorce was complicated, and frowned upon.
Divorce itself was barely tolerated. Happily, things move on.
What people expect, and what they prioritise
The fact that remarriage has become more common largely reflects how expectations and priorities have shifted across society.
Marriage used to be seen as a commitment for life, even in difficult circumstances.
Which is, after all, the essence of marriage: supporting one another whatever happens.
You say “yes” to love, but also for better and for worse.
Today, though, people are more inclined to prioritise their own happiness and personal fulfilment. They’re more open to the idea of remarrying if a first relationship no longer meets their needs or their hopes.
We’re not here to judge, or to say whether that’s right or wrong.
Even if, these days, some people do tend to throw in the towel before trying to repair things.
But that’s another subject entirely.
Remarrying, then, is a far more common and far more realistic option today.
Family relationships redefined
Family relationships have changed too, which has contributed to the growing popularity of remarriage.
Blended families have become far more common, and a great many people are more open to the idea of building new family dynamics.
Remarriage offers the chance to bring two families together, strengthen the bonds between them and build a solid family structure when a couple, each with children of their own, want to form a single united family.
Changing expectations at work
Career ambitions have shifted over time, and that has a significant impact on relationships and on remarriage.
These days a great many people devote more time to their career and their own development than to the prospect of starting a family.
As a result, they marry later, often after several life experiences and previous relationships.
That added maturity can shape their willingness to remarry, with different expectations and different priorities.
Divorce losing its stigma
Let’s talk about marriage and remarriage — but let’s talk about divorce as well.
As we said above, divorce used to be very poorly regarded in our society, whether by family, colleagues or friends.
Fortunately, the social stigma attached to divorce has gradually faded.
Today, society is more understanding towards couples who separate and choose to build a new life. That greater acceptance of divorce has made remarriage more accessible and far less taboo.
Couples no longer have to carry the weight of social judgement, which makes them much more likely to consider remarrying — and to go through with it.
Changing roles
Goodbye patriarchy, hello equality.
Changing gender roles play an important part in the growing popularity of remarriage.
Women and men alike have gained greater financial autonomy and greater independence.
Which means they can make decisions about their romantic and married lives based on their own needs and wishes, rather than depending on traditional norms.
We say “yes” to a society that moves on.
Remarriage, yes — but to whom?
When we talk about remarriage, the mind goes straight to a new relationship following a divorce.
But what about making official a love that has lasted for years?
What about the lovely proof that a healthy, lasting relationship really does exist?
Marrying the same person again
What a wonderful thing to celebrate: a marriage that has endured.
Marrying the same person again is a deeply touching thing to do. It speaks to love’s capacity for renewal.
In a relationship that has come through difficulties, ups and downs, choosing to say “yes” again is an affirmation of commitment. It’s also an affirmation of faith in love, and in its ability to grow and flourish.
It sends your partner several messages at once:
“I’m showing you I made the right choice, all those years ago.”
“I’m showing you I love you just as much, perhaps more.”
“When I said you were the woman (or the man) of my life, I meant it.”
Time brings maturity and personal growth.
Shared experiences, challenges overcome and lessons learned all strengthen the connection between two people. Marrying the same person again celebrates that growth, both personal and shared.
It’s a chance to commit to carrying on the adventure together.
Marrying someone new
Here it’s more a matter of giving yourself a second chance.
“I’m allowing myself to be happy again, and I’m committing to rebuilding.”
Love can’t be explained. Love can’t be controlled.
Marrying for a second time is proof that you believe in it. That you want a solid, settled relationship, for the rest of your days.
Giving yourself a second chance means believing in happiness.
The 3 main reasons people remarry
Here are the principal reasons remarriage is such an appealing option for couples in love.
1. Believing in happiness
Believing in happiness — isn’t that one of the finest things that can drive a person?
Remarriage is proof that people want to believe in happiness.
Especially, as we say, when it’s a second marriage.
The first marriage failed for whatever reason, but happiness exists. It’s out there somewhere, and when you brush your fingertips against it (in other words, when you build a new life with a different person and find yourself happy), you want to take hold of it and not let it get away — which means making that love official by marrying.
You don’t want that happiness slipping through your fingers.
Remarriage, then, represents a fresh chance at love and happiness, whatever has gone before.
Taking that step often means hope, renewal, and believing in the possibility of an even better love story.
2. Making a relationship official
Wanting to make a relationship official through remarriage is often a demonstration of commitment to a partner. It shows that love isn’t static, but constantly evolving.
It also proves that this partner isn’t simply a “replacement” for an ex-husband or ex-wife.
Making that second relationship official shows how much you believe in it, and how much the other person means to you.
Remarriage is the ideal answer when a couple want to start again on firm foundations and build a new life together.
It’s also considered when both partners have children (usually young ones) and want to build them a healthy, united family environment.
3. Renewing your vows to strengthen a marriage
Remarriage is also chosen as a way of renewing your vows.
Wanting to marry again after many years together is often a celebration of a shared love story.
It’s a reminder of the precious moments, the challenges overcome and the memories built together.
It’s a declaration of love and of gratitude, both to your partner and to the unique story you’re living and have built.
It’s a chance to throw a wonderful party surrounded by your family.
And it’s a magical, one-off moment for children who get to watch their parents celebrate their love.
Besides, it often happens that when you look back on your wedding, you wish you’d done things differently.
Whether for reasons of budget, or for family reasons.
You’d rather certain people hadn’t been there.
You’d have liked more in the way of flowers and styling, or a nicer dress, and so on.
Remarriage is your chance to reinvent the wedding you always dreamed of.
Good vows run to a minute or two and combine a personal story, a sincere promise and a touch of humour. You don’t need to be a writer: start from a framework and shape it to your own personality. This article sets out five approaches, with example texts to adapt however you like.
Traditional: the classic vows, reworked in your own words (template in the article).
Structured: a solid plan — how you met, what they changed in you, what you promise.
Romantic: vows in verse.
Playful: a speech built around your dates and the numbers behind your story.
Shy: vows recorded on video in advance and played on the day.
Exchanging vows is as symbolic a moment as it is a dreaded one. It lets you honour the person you love and say exactly what you feel — and at the same time it pushes you well outside your comfort zone. Will you keep your composure, get past the nerves, and own your words in front of that many people?
And above all: how do you write the speech that will floor your other half and everyone in the room?
At moments like this, you’d love to be one of those people who write easily, who find that perfect balance of humour and feeling with no apparent effort.
But the only text longer than three lines you’ve written in the past two years was the letter cancelling your phone contract — and even that was lifted wholesale from a template.
So while a wedding speech is obviously meant to be unique and personal, there’s nothing to stop you getting a bit of help with the writing and adapting it to your own personality. There’s no harm in it. As the song goes, all you need is love — but a bit of inspiration doesn’t hurt either.
1. Want something classic? Go for traditional wedding vows
Classic doesn’t have to mean dull. You can work from a framework and add your own stamp, adjusting a ready-made text with a bit of care. You can even work in some humour.
(The text below came straight out of our own heads. You’re very welcome to it.)
“I, (…), take you, (…), to be my husband/wife. I promise to love you, to cherish you and to respect you, for the whole of our lives, for richer and for poorer. I promise to support you, in good times and in bad, to be your rock, and to have you as the one thing I couldn’t do without.
Today, in front of our friends and our family, I promise to celebrate our marriage every day as though it were the first.
I loved you, I love you, and I will love you…” (we may be traditional, but a line borrowed from a love song never hurt anyone)
2. Organised? Build a plan for a speech that holds together
When you don’t know where to start, and you can’t work out how to arrange your ideas, the trick is to set out a framework: follow a plan, and it will let you develop what you want to say in the right order. No harder than a school essay, really.
And happily, your other half should be rather more inspiring than an exam question on Descartes.
You can follow the thread of the relationship, for example:
– How we met
– How our feelings and our relationship grew
– Where we are now
– How we see the future, together
(Again, the text below is entirely our own invention. If you borrow from it, do remember to change the dates and the names, or it could get awkward.)
“It’s 15 March 2018. The weather is filthy, the trains have been a nightmare and I’m late to that party at Sam’s. In short, it isn’t going well. I walk into a flat I know inside out, with no idea that my life is about to change.
And then I catch sight of you.
You’re laughing. I think you’re radiant, and beautiful. I try my luck, which was far from a certainty, and somehow I come away with a date the following week. How lucky I was to have made you laugh that day.
So we see each other again. And then it snowballs. I want to be with you all the time. All the time. I love everything about you: your strength, your determination, your generosity, the way you enjoy life. We’re inseparable; we live, we dream, we travel together.
Life is good with you. It doesn’t take me long to make up my mind — it’s obvious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Today, I’m standing in front of you and everyone we love. There’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be, and you’ve made me the happiest man alive by making room for me at your side.
I can’t wait for the future with you, to grow old with you, to count our grey hairs together. I can’t wait to watch our children grow up, and our grandchildren. I can’t wait for all of this life with you.
Let’s not waste any time. Let’s be happy together. I love you.”
Another approach: ask yourself a few questions and, by answering them simply, you’ll find it fairly easy to build a speech that sounds like you and reflects what you actually feel:
– What did you feel when you met your other half?
– How do you feel when you’re with them?
– Why did you take the plunge and decide to marry?
– How do you picture the two of you in 10 or 15 years’ time?
3. Romantic? Write your speech in verse
If you feel a poet stirring somewhere inside you, you can surprise the room with a poem, or even a spoken-word piece.
You don’t need to channel Shakespeare, and you certainly don’t need to overdo it: being yourself is, once again, rule number one for wedding vows that land — verse or no verse.
You might also think of a line or a quotation to open each stanza, something that sums up your story and gives the whole thing a rhythm.
And for the less inspired, the great poets have said it rather well already:
How Do I Love Thee?, Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”
4. Good with numbers? Build a speech out of dates and figures
If you’re an accountant, or you simply have a head for dates, numbers make a fine backbone for a speech that mixes feeling and humour rather neatly:
(Again, the text below came out of our own overactive imaginations. If you borrow from it, do change the figures and the names so they fit your story — that goes without saying.)
“Tom,
You know I’ve always loved numbers. So today I’ve decided to share a few with you — the ones that, to my mind, sum up our story best:
3,281: the number of days we’ve already spent together.
32: the number of glances I threw your way before I dared come and talk to you.
10: the number of messages we send each other every day, to check the other one’s day is going well, and to fill the gap we feel when we’re apart, even for a few hours.
116: the number of arguments about whose turn it is to do the washing-up.
10,814: the number of times I’ve thought how handsome you are.
2,600: the number of your terrible jokes I’ve laughed at, usually against my better judgement.
89: the number of times I’ve woken you in the night to go and check there was nobody in the house.
And then a date, among others: that6 March 2021, the day you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you. And finally 327: the number of times I’ve thought how glad I am that I said yes.
Today, on this 8 May 2022, I’m saying it once, in front of witnesses: I love you, and I will for the tens of thousands of days we’re going to spend together.”
5. Shy? Record your vows in advance
A wedding speech is a lovely thing, but there’s no need to make yourself ill for weeks beforehand because you’re dreading speaking up — even in front of family and friends. There’s a great deal to manage on the day, and it should stay enjoyable for you.
Several options let you avoid disappointing your partner without having to stammer your way through it in public:
Record your speech in advance and play it as your other half arrives at the ceremony.
Do it Love Actually-style, declaring your love on a stack of cards held up one by one in front of your guests.
And all of it set to music, to add to a moment that will, we’re quite sure, stay with everybody there.
A ring isn’t compulsory. Nothing says an engagement has to be sealed with a band of gold, and plenty of other pieces carry exactly the same promise. The five options set out in this article: the eternity bracelet (welded around the wrist, with no clasp), matching tattoos (an inked band around the finger, for instance), an engraved pendant (or a pair of earrings, or cufflinks), a watch — ideal for men, who are rarely given a ring — and a beautiful piece of leather.
Most symbolic: the eternity bracelet, put on once and for good.
Most committed: matching tattoos, permanent by definition.
Classic, without being a ring: a pendant engraved with your initials or the date of the proposal.
For him: a watch or cufflinks, engraved too.
Ah, the engagement ring. The promise of forever, in a single circle of metal.
Quite the symbol.
Today, though, we’d like to suggest a few alternatives.
Why?
For a start, because in 98% of cases — however carefully you’ve gone about it — you’ll have got your other half’s ring size slightly wrong. And we can all agree that not being able to show the ring off to your colleagues within the first few hours (minutes?) is deeply frustrating.
And then there’s the pleasure of doing something differently. We’re not going so far as to call the engagement ring dated (besides, dated is SO 1990). But a little change never hurt anyone, so here are our alternatives to the engagement ring.
1. To infinity and beyond: the eternity bracelet
More than a piece of jewellery, this one is a promise of an unbreakable bond. Giving your other half an eternity bracelet — and wearing one yourself into the bargain — is a guaranteed way to surprise and move them.
So what is an eternity bracelet? It’s a permanent bracelet, welded shut around the wrist with no clasp at all. Once it’s on, there’s no taking it off.
A growing number of independent jewellers now offer welding sessions, either in the studio or at home for a small group — worth looking for one near you.
2. In indelible ink: a tattoo
What could be more romantic than a permanent mark, to show someone you have them under your skin?
Matching tattoos make a wonderful alternative to an engagement ring.
And if you’d still like to keep the symbolism of the ring and of infinity, why not have a band inked around your finger?
3. Set in stone: a pendant
Plenty of fine jewellery houses make pendants. The rule is to choose a well-made piece, on the discreet side, that your other half can wear as easily and as often as possible.
Given with or without the chain, this option wins on elegance and understatement.
One extra touch: have it engraved (the date of the proposal, the date of the wedding, your initials — be creative).
In the same spirit, a beautiful pair of earrings works just as well, to be worn on the wedding day itself.
And for him? Have you thought about cufflinks? You should.
4. A sign of the times: a watch for him
Tradition gives the bride-to-be an engagement ring, but when it comes to men, most of us draw a blank. And yet a watch is the gift for your husband-to-be. The ultimate representation of time passing: the symbolism could hardly be stronger.
All that’s left is to choose from the huge range out there, from the smartest dress watches to something more urban, by way of the sportier models. Many jewellers and watchmakers will engrave the case back for you.
5. Something in leather
Leather is a strong, hard-wearing material, and a fitting stand-in for a couple built to last.
A bag, a pair of shoes or a wallet: a good leather piece makes a lovely alternative to an engagement ring. Look for full-grain leather and a maker who offers repairs — the point, after all, is that it lasts.
Those, in our view, are the best alternatives to an engagement ring.
If you’d like to push the originality further but you’re short on inspiration, don’t hesitate to bring in a wedding planner to help you plan the proposal itself. They’ll know exactly how to make the moment unforgettable.
The henna ceremony is a celebration held before the wedding in Mediterranean and Muslim cultures. The bride’s hands — and often her feet — are decorated with henna by a specialist artist known as the Nekacha, to draw down the Baraka (blessing), ward off the evil eye and show that her heart is spoken for. It usually takes place a week before the religious ceremony — sometimes the night before — at the bride’s parents’ home, surrounded by the women of both families.
When: a week before the wedding, or on the eve of it, depending on the family.
Where: traditionally at the bride’s parents’ home, among women.
Who applies the henna: the Nekacha, once two candles have burned down, as the ritual requires.
What it means: protection, prosperity and blessing (Baraka) for the marriage to come.
An age-old tradition in Mediterranean and, in particular, Muslim culture, the henna ceremony still carries real weight today and remains firmly fixed in the minds of brides-to-be, for all that Muslim weddings have modernised.
Is the henna ceremony genuinely different today? And how has the custom adapted over the centuries?
What is the henna ceremony?
A symbolic plant credited with many virtues, henna is bound up with a great many beliefs, and is said to bring protection, peace and prosperity to whoever wears it.
The word comes from the Hebrew Hen, meaning “to find favour”. By having her hands and feet adorned with henna, the bride hopes to obtain the Baraka — the blessing — for her marriage. And in “tattooing” her hands and feet, she also keeps jealousy and the evil eye at bay.
The symbolism holds that, after the ceremony, the young bride will find lasting favour in her husband’s eyes, and that all other suitors will give up hope: the designs on her skin announce that her heart is taken for good.
How does the henna ceremony unfold?
When and where does it take place?
Custom puts the ceremony a week before the religious wedding, though some families hold it on the evening before the wedding itself.
The celebration takes place at the bride’s parents’ home, and brings together all the women closest to her — the women of her own family and her friends — along with the women of the groom’s family.
The festivities, from tradition to the present day
Traditionally, the bride was kept apart in another room until the end of the meal, only then joining the guests.
These days, brides-to-be commonly join in from the very start of the evening. Food, tea, traditional pastries, music: the henna ceremony has become an intimate evening spent among the people closest to the bride.
Applying the henna
According to the ritual, two candles are lit at the beginning of the ceremony, and only once they have burned down can the bride receive her henna designs.
It is a Nekacha — a henna artist — who applies the paste to the bride’s hands and feet.
The paste is made by grinding dried henna leaves to a powder and mixing it with water and an essential oil, often rose or orange blossom. The aim is a smooth paste that is pleasant to apply.
In the past, every motif on the hands carried its own meaning. Today, the look of the design counts for a great deal, and the fineness of the line sometimes matters more than what it stands for.
Once the bride is covered in her finest designs, the Nekacha can invite the other women present to have henna applied too.
The henna ritual is usually the moment when guests leave their gifts, which the bride opens once the henna has been applied. Her praises are sung, quite literally, in song and in offerings.
What should you give the bride for the henna ceremony?
Several traditional offerings may be brought by the family, or by the groom himself:
Eggs, a symbol of fertility
Sugar, a symbol of good fortune
Orange blossom water, a symbol of purity and fertility
Milk and rose water, symbols of purity
For everyone else, there are no hard rules: the gift is above all meant to please the bride. Flowers, cakes, a beauty product — anything she’ll enjoy.
What are the traditional outfits for a henna ceremony?
Beyond the henna itself, what the bride wears is very much part of the ceremony.
Traditionally, she wears a green kaftan — green being the colour of henna before it is applied.
As for fabric, brides tend to choose something rich, such as velvet or silk. Many kaftans carry gold embroidery, which lends the whole outfit still more elegance.
Today, though, other colours are entirely usual, and some brides choose turquoise blue or pink instead.
For guests, there are no particular rules. A traditional kaftan works beautifully, but so does something simpler that you feel comfortable in.
In brief: what kind of buffet works for a wedding?
A buffet is the most flexible way to feed a wedding: everyone builds their own plate according to their taste, their dietary needs and their appetite. There are four main formats — the cold grazing spread, the buffet eaten seated at table, the hot buffet (ideal in winter) and the dessert table (individual portions or a chocolate fountain). On budget, expect roughly £30 to £60 a head for a drinks reception plus buffet with service included (around €35–70) — figures drawn from the French market, so treat them as indicative only and get quotes locally.
Most common: the cold grazing spread — varied and sociable.
Most comfortable: the buffet eaten at table, which keeps everyone seated.
For a winter wedding: the hot buffet.
The late-evening essential: a dessert table, with handy individual portions and a chocolate fountain.
Deep in the planning of the biggest day of your life?
Every detail matters and deserves your full attention.
Among the things not to overlook are the drinks reception, the first dance and, of course, the meal.
Some couples opt for a plated meal served at table, but plenty now prefer a buffet — a format that has won over a great many newlyweds.
That said, if you’ve never put one together, a buffet can seem surprisingly hard to get right.
In this article, we’ve gathered our ideas and advice for a buffet your guests will genuinely enjoy.
The wedding buffet: the crowd-pleaser
Catering for a dozen guests — let alone a hundred — can be a real headache.
Between dietary requirements and personal preferences, it can be very hard to land on a menu that suits everyone.
A buffet solves this neatly: it lets you put out a wide choice, so family and friends alike can eat well.
Alongside that variety, a buffet also lets guests eat as much or as little as they like. Unlike a plated meal, where each guest is served a single portion they can’t always adjust — particularly at weddings offering only one menu — a buffet lets people help themselves.
Finally, part of the buffet’s enduring appeal is the cost. Compared with a plated menu, it usually works out cheaper, which is no small consideration given what a wedding involves.
A cold grazing spread to keep everyone happy
Go for a cold buffet — the choice of many couples — and the options are almost endless.
If you enjoy the finer details, you can tie the buffet to the theme of the day.
Chosen a rustic, countryside theme?
Serve canapés built around mushrooms and other vegetables that suit the look.
Canapés and small plates
A cold buffet menu can take in a huge range of items, so there’s something for every taste.
Reliable favourites include tomato and mozzarella skewers, smoked salmon blinis, cheese bites, prawn cocktail glasses, pâtés and terrines, and vol-au-vents or cheese straws.
Put out a good spread of ideas and every guest is bound to find something they like, picking their way through the dishes that appeal.
A buffet eaten at table
Within the cold buffet format, you still have choices to make.
Guests can help themselves and eat standing, carrying on with the conversation, or you can seat everyone at tables.
In that case, the usual approach is to call tables up one at a time.
Here the cold buffet can take in more substantial dishes alongside the canapés — salads, cold meats (roast beef, ham and charcuterie) and so on.
A hot buffet: ideal for winter weddings
The cold buffet may be the favourite, but the same format works hot.
A hot buffet can offer individual portions, which allows for greater variety, or larger dishes to share around the table.
Hot buffets tend to come into their own for winter wedding dates.
A choice of hot dishes with all the comfort of home cooking, whatever the temperature outside, will go down very well indeed.
With this format, guests generally help themselves at the buffet and return to their table to eat in comfort.
Hot or cold, don’t forget to lay on plenty of bread to go with it.
For the main dishes as much as for the cheese (goat’s, cow’s or otherwise), you can vary the breads on offer: walnut, seeded, sourdough and so on.
Serve your desserts buffet-style too
Main course sorted. Now for pudding.
Looking for something other than the smart but familiar tiered wedding cake?
Your caterer can put together a sweet version of the buffet, letting you present a whole range of desserts.
Just as with the savoury spread, it means every guest gets something they actually fancy.
There are a few ways to go about it.
Individual desserts: practical and popular
To keep a cake element without committing to a single one, you can build the table from a range of different pastries, so guests choose their favourites.
Mini fruit tarts, mini loaf cakes, profiteroles, fruit or chocolate mousse pots, individual slices to choose from…
There really is something for everyone.
The chocolate fountain: a guaranteed hit
If a buffet is a table laid out with food for guests to help themselves, there’s no reason not to add a chocolate fountain, with fruit and marshmallows to dip.
Wedding buffet: don’t neglect the styling
A buffet isn’t only about the food — it also gives you a great deal of scope for decoration.
You can dress the table to match the theme of the day, so guests get an eyeful before they get a plateful.
As a rule, the styling of the buffet should echo that of your reception room: it creates a coherent look and leaves nothing to chance.
Plan every detail of the day and you can be confident of a wedding your guests won’t forget in a hurry.
